Best of 2004

  1. Gozu

    Takashi Miike creates nothing short of a modern classic.

  2. The Saddest Music in the World

    Is the funniest movie of the year.

  3. Metallica: Some Kind of Monster

    It's such a good movie it's a shame the new album sucks so much.

  4. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

    Charlie Kaufman finally does something worth the praise he gets.

  5. Shaun of the Dead

    One evening I saw Shaun of the Dead and The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement. This was the better of the two.

  6. House of Flying Daggers

    Chief among life's pleasures:

    1. Beer
    2. A really great kung fu movie
    3. Baseball
    4. Sex

    This is not that movie. But, darn if it isn't good.

  7. Hero

    This isn't either, but

    1. Watching Tony Leung and Maggie Cheung
  8. Infernal Affairs

    Hong Kong action isn't dead. Just John Woo.

  9. Mean Girls/Saved

    As much as I hated Macaulay Culkin when we were kids, I really want his comeback to succeed.

  10. Tarnation

    Yes, he's a drama queen. Yes, it's good drama.

Honorable Mention (the other tolerable movies of the year)

  • Zatoichi
  • Code 46
  • Dawn of the Dead
  • Harry Potter: Prisoner of Azkaban
  • Napoleon Dynamite
  • Spiderman 2
  • Incredibles
  • Sideways
  • The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

Worst of 2004

  1. The Ladykillers

    Remember when the Coen Brothers used to make good movies? I'm not just being bitter, this really was worse than Jersey Girl.

  2. Jersey Girl

    Remember when Kevin Smith used to make tolerable movies? I'm not just being bitter, this really was worse than The Punisher.

  3. The Punisher

    This was the worst movie John Travolta appeared in all year.

  4. Soul Plane

    This was the worst movie Tom Arnold appeared in all year.

  5. Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

    Meg Cabot is rolling over in her grave. Or ought to be.

  6. Garfield

    Never before has a computer animated cat made me hate life so much.

  7. Secret Window

    Most predictable twist ending of the decade.

  8. The Passion of the Christ

    Jesus, was this made for television?

  9. Van Helsing

    Jesus, was this made for retards?

  10. Saw

    Slipknot fans will get a hard-on for the generic pre-fabricated shine put on these self-consciously Disturbing Images. Which will make them easy to identify. And destroy.

Pat Jackson