Best of 2004
Takashi Miike creates nothing short of a modern classic.
The Saddest Music in the World
Is the funniest movie of the year.
Metallica: Some Kind of Monster
It's such a good movie it's a shame the new album sucks so much.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Charlie Kaufman finally does something worth the praise he gets.
Shaun of the Dead
One evening I saw Shaun of the Dead and The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement. This was the better of the two.
House of Flying Daggers
Chief among life's pleasures:
- A really great kung fu movie
This is not that movie. But, darn if it isn't good.
This isn't either, but
- Watching Tony Leung and Maggie Cheung
Hong Kong action isn't dead. Just John Woo.
As much as I hated Macaulay Culkin when we were kids, I really want his comeback to succeed.
Yes, he's a drama queen. Yes, it's good drama.
Honorable Mention (the other tolerable movies of the year)
- Code 46
- Dawn of the Dead
- Harry Potter: Prisoner of Azkaban
- Napoleon Dynamite
- Spiderman 2
- The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
Worst of 2004
Remember when the Coen Brothers used to make good movies? I'm not just being bitter, this really was worse than Jersey Girl.
Remember when Kevin Smith used to make tolerable movies? I'm not just being bitter, this really was worse than The Punisher.
This was the worst movie John Travolta appeared in all year.
This was the worst movie Tom Arnold appeared in all year.
Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Meg Cabot is rolling over in her grave. Or ought to be.
Never before has a computer animated cat made me hate life so much.
Most predictable twist ending of the decade.
The Passion of the Christ
Jesus, was this made for television?
Jesus, was this made for retards?
Slipknot fans will get a hard-on for the generic pre-fabricated shine put on these self-consciously Disturbing Images. Which will make them easy to identify. And destroy.
- Pat Jackson